I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that in the past couple of months. I really couldn’t count. I know, I know everyone means well and everyone just truly doesn’t want me to stress. Not so much for my well being (although I’m sure they care a little about that too) but because of this little baby in my belly. Pregnancy is no time to stress but you know what, life happens and sometimes things cause you to stress…especially when you are already prone to stressing out.
So what’s up? Why the stress? Why can’t I just chill out?
If you follow me on Facebook you’ll have seen that my little guy had a little bout of Bronchiolitis about a month ago and we had to use a respirator for a few days…yes I know big picture – not a huge deal; but he’s my baby and I hate not being able to just fix him. And of course I tend to second guess myself. Should I have taken him in to the doctor sooner? Did he get sick because I didn’t cover him up enough when I took him outside that one day? How could I have prevented this???? And then came his 18 month wellness visit. 18 months…let’s just sit on that for a second…my little guy is 18 months old!!! Wow!
Ok back to the appointment. His throat was all cleared up, his little voice was back and no more cough..yay! So time to get him checked out. The usual questions came: How is he eating? (Pretty good) How is he sleeping? (Great). And then came the questions I didn’t I want to hear, the questions I didn’t want to answer: How is therapy going? (uhhh ok) Any progress with crawling? Walking? (Nope, nope) 18 months old and my little guy is not even attempting to crawl or walk, he’s been seeing a therapist since we brought him home from the hospital. And to be honest with you, it’s not the reminder that he’s not crawling or walking that I don’t want to hear it’s the questions. I’m sick and tired of them. I hear them from family, friends and the best…strangers. Yes strangers! Strangers just love coming up to my handsome guy and talk about how cute he is and I always hate it because it’s always followed up with “is he just walking all over the place?”..no, person whose name I don’t know, he’s not f’n walking all over the place and then it’s always followed up with a concerned “ohhh” and that’s when I really want to punch them in the face. But of course I don’t, I smile and make some funny remark (Oh he’s just milking it, he wants to be carried everywhere) I laugh and the strange person smiles nervously and I take my non walking little guy and walk away. Don’t even get me started on certain family members that like to bring it up all the time, joke with him that he’s just lazy, tell him he needs to get on with it already…yeah that’s so helpful THANK YOU! Thank you so much for the constant reminder and for pointing out my sons lack of physical development, it’s such a big help! <—— that was sarcasm just in case you were wondering.
I want my son to meet all of his milestones and more than anything I want to make sure I’m providing him with everything he needs to meet them. So in my mind, every time someone brings it up they are just pointing out that I’m not doing enough. I must be doing something wrong. I also understand, that’s my problem, my thoughts…not theirs. They aren’t calling me a bad mom (well to my face) that’s all in my head. My own insecurities.
So what else happened at this great 18 month appointment. Well I brought up a noise I was hearing in his hips and it didn’t take her long to notice it as soon as she started moving his legs around…add it to the list! And what else? Oh he’s not gaining weight. He eats, trust me he eats. No, he doesn’t eat a lot of junk food I do try to feed him a healthy mix of foods. But hey, maybe I need to start giving him junk food?! Anyhow… we left with a referral to an orthopedic specialist and even though we shouldn’t have to be back for another 6 months she wanted us back in 2 weeks for a weight check. Sigh.
More on the orthopedic specialist later because I’ve gotta go work on that “don’t stress” thing I keep hearing about…
Sidenote…I think I’m going to ask my doctor what’s worse: stress or glass of wine 😉